Loving your kids equally but uniquely is the basis for Day 25 You Don’t Have To Love Your Kids The Same. Because our kids ARE different – in attitude, aptitude and appearance. Why would we think it’s okay to love them the same?
“You love Sara more than me!”
“Anna NEVER does anything wrong…I guess I’m just your worst child!”
“You never pay me any attention once baby Ella came along!”
For moms of more than one, I would bet that we have all either heard, or will hear, comments like these…a LOT!
And it’s normal, I guess….sibling rivalry. The need to feel special. That desire to know that your mom loves YOU the most of anyone in this entire world, including those other little people she birthed.
I personally struggled with this as a child. I felt like I was always trying to find out if my mom and dad loved me the MOST (more than my 2 other sisters), which, by the way, they don’t. I even remember vividly being terribly upset when my mom explained to me that the love she had for my dad was as strong, but different, than the love she had for me!
What?! Now of course her rationale was sound, as it always was. Her feeling was that, without the love she had for my father, I would not have even existed.
But at the age of 7, all I could hear was that she loved my dad more than me.
But here’s the deal – we don’t love our kids the same. Nor do I believe we should.
For all our celebrating differences in children, we as moms feel that we need to loudly proclaim we love our kids exactly the same.
I mean, think about it. You may have one child who craves snuggles on your lap and holding your hand. While another child may cringe at the very thought of being held that closely. So to an outsider, it may seem that you love the first child more but in reality a good mom figures out how to show her love differently.
The Languages Of Love
By now, many of us have heard about the 5 Love Languages Of Children…Words of Affirmations, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. These are so spot on, it’s amazing.
They apply to both children and adults.
If you have missed any in the series 31 Days & 31 Ways To Be A Better Mom, catch up here:
INTRO TO SERIES:
DAY 1: OUR BEFORE SCHOOL RULE
DAY 2: UNPLUG AND PLUG IN
DAY 3: STEP AWAY FROM YOUR CHILD
DAY 4: EMBRACE YOUR CRAZY
DAY 5: BE A REBEL
DAY 6: DO AS I SAY
DAY 7: FIND YOUR VILLAGE
DAY 8: DIVIDE & CONQUER
DAY 9: ONE SMART COOKIE
DAY 11: STOP COMPARING YOUR CHILD
DAY 12: TAKE CARE OF #1
DAY 13: DATE YOUR CHILD
DAY 17: PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES
DAY 18: QUIT BEATING YOURSELF UP
DAY 22: FAMILY DINNER SHMINNER
DAY 23: REBELLION IS A CRAZY THING
DAY 24: TELL THEM IT WILL GET BETTER
DAY 26: IT’S OKAY TO WISH TODAY WAS OVER
DAY 27: BE A GOOD DAUGHTER
DAY 28: QUIT TRYING TO BE THAT OTHER MOM
DAY 29: YOU CAN’T BUY THEIR HAPPINESS
DAY 30: TELL YOUR KIDS YOU ARE A FAILURE
DAY 31: LEARNING TO LET GO