If you are a mom who feels like you’ve said yes to everyone but yourself, please remember this: Charity Begins At Home. If you need a “reason” to say no, fall back on those words.
I saw the post pop up in my Facebook newsfeed…but really there was nothing special or unique about it.
It went something like this: “In prayerful review of my life right now. I’m reevaluating all the commitments I’ve said “yes” to because I’m realizing every yes outside of home is a “no” to my family.”
And immediately the likes and comments started rolling in.
We All Know “Her”
Because as women, we all know what “she” is talking about. “She” is your mother, your sister, your best friend…“She” is you. “She” is me.
She’s the person you always said you wouldn’t be but have somehow turned into anyway.
And I all I could hear echoing in my head was the words my own sweet mom had told me over and over as a child, and also as an adult.
Charity Begins At Home
“Share your wealth. Share your time. Share your God-given talents. Help out where you can but remember, first and foremost, charity begins at home.”
It’s okay to say no to that bake sale if it means you and your son will get that much needed playdate at the park. It’s okay to decline more responsibility if it means it will give you the time you need to prep dinners for the week and therefore have a less stressful one.
Please understand me, I’m not encouraging you to quit volunteering on the PTO or to stop teaching your beloved 4 year old Sunday School class. I promise, I’m not. Without the support of millions of selfless volunteers, much of our society would honestly crumble.
But believe me when I tell you that for every event your organize and orchestrate for someone else, it represents countless hours you won’t have with your family and added stress that will infiltrate the time you do have with them.
Saying No Is Counter To Our Culture
It’s hard to say no. We want to say yes. And there are many times where yes is the right answer, even when it is hard.
But saying yes without considering the impact every yes will have on you and your time is setting you up for several things, mainly burnout and resentment.
In our society, there is this twisted sense that busy-ness equals importance. That being stressed and short on time means that somehow you are giving of yourself in a way that others can’t.
So in the worst way, we are the most validated when we are the most scheduled, the most busy, the most unhappy. And thus begins a relentless cycle.
So I urge you today to consider those words – Charity begins at home.
Really look at the areas and causes in your life that mean the most to you. The ones you hold close to your heart.
And find meaningful ways to help. For me, I felt I could not hold a position on my daughter’s school PTO in this season of my life. But her education and the amazing teachers and faculty at her school mean everything to me. So I try to volunteer weekly, buy classroom supplies that are needed and most importantly, support my daughter’s education at home!
Please DO NOT stop giving of your time and your God-given talents…just make sure there is joy leftover for you and your family at the end of the day.
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