Have you noticed that REALITY is MIA on Facebook? And it’s making me tired…tired of trying to keep up with everyone on Facebook showing me how perfect their life is. That somehow their real life is filled with joy and happiness on every corner. I’m tired of the idea that it’s all sunshine and rainbows in everyone’s home but mine. I’m tired of the constant barrage of happy hashtags…#blessed, #inthemoment, #lovemykids. Where is the real life? The spilled milk on the new couch? The crying toddler? The sleep deprived momma? Am I the only one who thinks these things are normal?
Because I know that life isn’t perfect like this. Yeah, sure, there are moments that seem so awesome and perfect in that instance. But by the time you blink, your oldest grabbed your baby’s favorite toy. Both are crying and you’re wondering what happened to that #blessed moment.
And I’m all for sharing happy moments on Facebook…I do it too. Don’t we all want everyone to see us in the best light? Playing with our kids, makeup done, hair fixed? But that’s not how we are all day, every day. Let’s present it fairly, give an accurate picture of what it’s like to be a mom.
Where are all your pictures as you stumble down the hall with your hair in mats, mascara smudged and dark under eye circles after having been up half the night with a child who’s coughing? And the dog had to go out EVERY time you got up? Where’s all the hashtags that say #realmomlife and #lifeainteasyallthetime? Or what about #thismomthingishard?
I read an article one time in which the author wrote how much she detested the use of “blessed”. That it in some way implied those that had experienced good fortune, be it through hard work or luck, were somehow more loved by God. That he was showing favor to them. While those that were struggling or facing disease and suffering had been given the short end of the stick by God.
I’m not sure I fully agree with this definition of blessed. Actually, I know that I don’t because I believe that many times there are blessings to be found in heartache and suffering. That being blessed isn’t tied to being happy in that moment but in finding joy in your life.
But what I can concur with the author on is that our culture’s over-the-top social media posting and need to be “perfect” takes the old saying of “Keeping Up With the Jones'” to a WHOLE new level.
I mean, when is it ever going to be enough? What are we trying to prove…and perhaps more importantly, to whom are we trying to prove it?
I’ll be honest – I pretty much don’t have anything together. I wonder each day if I’m doing it “right.” Am I being a good mom? Am I teaching my girls what they need to know to not only be successful but also well-respected? Am I patient enough? Did I laugh enough or spend enough time just being with my girls? Do I show my husband I love him enough? Did I do anything right at all today? What will my legacy be? What will my girls remember about me when they are older? Will their memories be of joyous and happy times?
So I go to bed each night asking these questions. But each morning, I get up and put both feet on the ground and go at it again. Because I know this life isn’t perfect but it’s mine. And it’s filled with all the joys and laughter I think my heart could hold most days. The look of my 3 year old as she sneaks out of her bedroom each morning trying to surprise me… never mind I’ve been up 2 hours while she was in her cozy bed dreaming of puppies and princesses no doubt. The sincerity in my 6 year old’s face as she tells me I’m beautiful and that she loves my singing because my voice is so pretty.
These are the moments I want to capture and share on Facebook. Not because I’m trying to show you how awesome my life is. But because I need to be reminded of it myself sometimes. Because the pictures no one is posting of sibling squabbles, arguments with your husband, monthly budgets in the red…again, sleepless nights, sick kids, endless worries about the health and happiness of your children….these pictures that no one is posting on Facebook are the ones that can overtake our life in the memory books if we aren’t careful.
We can get so wrapped up in the minutia of the every day that we forget how “blessed” we are in every moment.
So share your happy moments and revel in those joyous time! Because those moments pass and we need to capture them for our memory and hold on as long as we can. Because in those moments of sadness and trials, these pictures are what will give us that push we need to go on another day. To be the best mom in spite of what’s thrown at us.
But can we make a deal to give all of us moms a break? Give it to me real. Show me the good, the bad and the ugly. I want to see your picture-perfect life sometimes but I need to know I’m not in this alone.
That you have kids crying and pulling hair. That you planned a fun mommy-daughter day that started off with you smashing her finger in the door and ended with you arguing because she asked for a toy that you wouldn’t buy. I want to see you and your hubby on that awesome Caribbean cruise but I want to know that he drove you bananas today by forgetting to pick up bread on the way home…for the 2nd night in a row.
Because #blessed isn’t a bad thing…these pictures show us how awesome life can be. But #roughday and #isitbedtimeyet do the same thing. Because what’s awesome about this life is that we are living it and that we have our spouse and our kids to share it with. That we have a roof over our head and food in our bellies. We are blessed in the good and in the bad days.
We just may not know it yet…
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