If you have little ones, you should really stop waiting for things to get easier. You can quit playing the waiting game. You know the one…the “when they are older” things will be so much easier.
But if you aren’t so careful, the moments that are right in front of you will be slipping away while you look ahead.
Any sane person could have seen me coming from a mile away. I was frantically grabbing the bags from the van, fumbling for my keys to lock the door as it almost closed on my two girls. They were in their swimsuits ready for lessons at our local Y but as usual, we were running behind.
I looked every bit the part of the harried, sleep deprived mom…standard issue t-shirt and jeans, wet hair pulled back and only the most minimal foundation and mascara in my makeup d’jour for the day.
As I pushed and prodded my two into the door, sent them to their respective teachers, I sunk into a nearby bench.
And I thought to myself…
When the girls are older, it won’t be so hard.
When they can cross the street without me holding their hand…
When they can wake themselves and find breakfast to eat without my help….
When they don’t argue over who got buckled first…
When they don’t need me to play with them for entertainment…
When they can SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!
In just a few years, these troubles of today will be a distant memory.
And it really dawned on me…today WILL be a memory in the not too distant future. What I am so lucky and blessed with today, I am basically wishing away. Wishing it would be easier…different…not what it is today.
I am very lucky to have parents that live close by and come up to visit once a week. They come to help, to hang out, to play with the girls…really just to “be” with us. So often, I will catch my dad in almost a daze. But I know he’s not spacing out. No, he’s caught up in the moment seeing my little girls and realizing that it seems like only yesterday, I was that size.
That it was me he was holding, playing with, taking out to the park. It was me he was helping buckle, washing Kool Aid mustaches off my mouth, taking me to school.
But he realizes it’s not me. I am grown. I am married with a home of my own. And with two precious little girls of my own.
And he KNOWS this phase in my life is tough. He also knows it’s the most amazing, joyful, wonderful phase too.
And his simple look is all it takes for me to gain the perspective I need.
To remind myself, as my mom tells me, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” This is your chance. Enjoy every day even when the day may not seem enjoyable.
And so I pull myself off that bench by the pool. I smile and wave at my girls and give them the big thumbs-up as they practice their strokes.
And I pinch myself – Because I am so blessed and fortunate, I don’t need to play the waiting game.
I don’t need to wait for things to get easier or better, because my life is amazing and perfect right now.
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I could very well resonate with your post. When my daughter was little, I had wished that she would grow up quickly. Now that she is a teenager, I lament that she is growing up too fast. I have learnt to enjoy every stage of parenthood.
I know Liz! It is always hard for me too to keep perspective!