There Are Days Parenting Is Hard

Dear Children, There are days parenting is hard.

Then there are days when it seems easy.

There are days when I can’t wait for you to wake up and spend the day with me.

Then there are days I count the hours till bedtime.

There are days when I worry so much about your health, your future, your soul that I can barely contain my fears.

Then there are days I let all of that go and enjoy being in the moment with you.

There are days when I love you so much my heart feels like it may actually burst out of my chest.

Then there are days when I wonder how I won’t pull my hair out.

There are days I feed you nutritious meals full of fruits and veggies.

Then there are days I think social services may be called if I feed you one more chicken nugget.

There are days I cry because I don’t want you to to go to school.

Then there are days I am waiting at drop-off 5 minutes before the school door opens.

There are days when I yell because I have lost all patience.

Then there are days when I hide in my closet and cry remembering your face when I yelled.

There are days I indulge you when you want to wear makeup like Mommy.

Then there are days when I find lipstick ground into the carpet.

There are days I don’t want to share you with anyone.

Then there are days I would pay someone to have a playdate.

There are days when you go to school in an outfit that matches and with your hair combed and fixed.

Then there are days when I give you something from the dryer that’s been sitting for 3 days unfolded and wrinkled.

There are days that I love how much you want to grow up to be a princess. 

Then there are days I think if I find one more Snow White costume or Cinderella shoe strewn in the house I may scream.

There are days I love buying you new clothes and dreaming about how cute you will look in them.

Then there are days I get so angry you refuse to wear a coat when it’s 30 degrees out.

There are days when I’m so proud of your new accomplishment I could burst at the seams.

Then there are days when I realize that means you are one step closer to not needing me the same way.

There are days I think I will never be as good a mom as my own mother was.

Then there are days when my mom calls me and says I’m doing it ten times better.

There are days when I think I’m finally getting this parenting thing right.

Then there are days when I realize I probably won’t ever get it right…do it good enough…be the mom I think you deserve.

And then comes the night…when I read you a story, sing you Amazing Grace and tuck you in to bed.  When I give you one last kiss for the night and know that tomorrow is coming fast.  

And I thank God for the days he has given us to do it right, to do it wrong and to do it just good enough.

Because in my heart I know, These Are The Days…

I love you.

Love,

Mom