On the days when it’s hard and the days that you think you cannot possibly bite your tongue or keep the peace any more, Day 16 Be Their Calm is all about why you should. How in the midst of the chaos that is this world, sometimes being a better mom is all about finding the ways to make your home be the eye of the storm.
We’ve all had THOSE days...where we were running about 10 minutes behind for everything…the kids couldn’t get along…one has a runny nose and is whiny…your husband forgot (again) that you asked him to come home early for an appointment…and the house looks like a tornado blew through it.
Some days, it’s enough to throw your hands up…you want to yell at your husband for NEVER listening to you. Fuss at your kids for not.getting.along.again! And wonder why you ever thought that creating a playroom full of toys was a good idea!!
But here’s what I’m telling you…what I tell myself…Don’t.
Because if there’s one thing our children need in this crazy life, it’s someone at home that’s not. Not crazy, not out of control, not yelling, not fussing. They need a mom who doesn’t let the little things get to her…and it’s true what they say…aren’t they all little things?
I’m not saying we don’t all get a day to lose it…to break down and cry…to wonder out loud why the burdens of parenting seem to fall at the same moment? Because I get it…some days it just all seems to pile on and no matter what we do, we can’t keep it together.
But let that be the exception to the rule…not the rule.
Why, you may ask?
Well, the way we handle the daily ups and downs of life is how our kids will likely do the same. The irony was not lost on me the other day when I told my 3 year old, who was crying because I packed her pb&j instead of turkey, that it was JUST a sandwich and that this wasn’t worth crying over…
All the while, later that evening, I almost lost it when I burned the crescent rolls for dinner…the 2nd time!! But it was just bread, wasn’t it? And at least we had food on the table…and none of us probably needed those extra carbs anyway.
So why was I so mad?
And my sweet husband, Bryan, who had come home after a long day at work with all the stress that entails…why was I so short with him when he couldn’t seem to carry on a conversation and get drinks for dinner?
Maybe it’s because the stress of being a mom is relentless. There really is no break. As soon as one child recovers from a virus, the next is being left out during recess at school. As soon as one kid finally figures out their time tables, the next is potty training. Just when you think you FINALLY have a handle on how to be a mom…life throws you a curve ball.
You wake each morning thinking about your children and the last thought you have before you drift off is those same little people who you didn’t even know you could love so much before they were yours.
So yeah, I get it…sometimes we actually can’t take it anymore and the smallest pin drop could send us over the edge.
So I say fine, go with it. Give in for a minute…break down…sit on the stairs and cry and get out some balloons for your pity party.
But then move on…because our kids are looking to us.
They are seeing how we handle adversity…how we, in the words of Taylor Swift, shake it off.
Because they are heading into a brave new world…school, tests, fitting in, accepting differences, boyfriends, girlfriends, bullies…finding their place in this world.
And your children need to know these two things:
- That while they can’t control the circumstances, they can always control their reactions.
- When everyone else in this ol’ world seems to have lost their ever-lovin’ mind, they know when they come home…you haven’t. And you won’t. And while every once in a while you may lose it for a minute, you don’t usually.
Because years from now, when it’s not spelling quizzes and mean girls, they will run to you. For how they will know if they found “the one.” For advice on finding the right job. Buying their home. Raising their own children.
Because you are the calm…you are THEIR calm…
You have always been and will always be their calm.
If you have missed any in the series 31 Days & 31 Ways To Be A Better Mom, catch up here:
INTRO TO SERIES:
DAY 1: OUR BEFORE SCHOOL RULE
DAY 2: UNPLUG AND PLUG IN
DAY 3: STEP AWAY FROM YOUR CHILD
DAY 4: EMBRACE YOUR CRAZY
DAY 5: BE A REBEL
DAY 6: DO AS I SAY
DAY 7: FIND YOUR VILLAGE
DAY 8: DIVIDE & CONQUER
DAY 9: ONE SMART COOKIE
DAY 11: STOP COMPARING YOUR CHILD
DAY 12: TAKE CARE OF #1
DAY 13: DATE YOUR CHILD
DAY 17: PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES
DAY 18: QUIT BEATING YOURSELF UP
DAY 22: FAMILY DINNER SHMINNER
DAY 23: REBELLION IS A CRAZY THING
DAY 24: TELL THEM IT WILL GET BETTER
DAY 26: IT’S OKAY TO WISH TODAY WAS OVER
DAY 27: BE A GOOD DAUGHTER
DAY 28: QUIT TRYING TO BE THAT OTHER MOM
DAY 29: YOU CAN’T BUY THEIR HAPPINESS
DAY 30: TELL YOUR KIDS YOU ARE A FAILURE
DAY 31: LEARNING TO LET GO