We all have heard the saying “It takes a village” when talking about raising kids. Day 7 Find Your Village is all about piecing that village together, whether or not you have family nearby. Because when the going gets rough in motherhood, no one “gets” you more than another mother (or father!).
Life’s Hardest Work
Raising our children is life’s hardest work. We bring them into this world with no instruction manual and then someone says, “Ok, your 2 days is up” and sends you packing…away from the safety of doctors and nurses…away from someone being there to ask for help when you need it…away from people with you 24/7.
I mean, I know people have been figuring out this child-rearing thing for thousands of years, but it still scared the bejeezus out of me.
What? You are sending me home?! What if I drop her? What if she won’t nurse? What if she’s hungry and I don’t know? How do you bathe her? What is that stump growing out of her belly….will we have apples by spring? HELP ME!!!!! is what I really wanted to cry.
And over the past 7 years, those words have come into my mind many MANY more times. Between sickness, broken bones, having another baby, school, sports, sibling squabbles, you name it….sometimes we just need some help.
So I thank God for my village…those relatives, friends, teachers, acquaintances, moms, doctors and preachers I have made my go-to in these times of need.
I truly believe that being a better mom requires every person in this village.
I, for one, call my mom first thing any time I have a parenting question or am worried about one of my girls. Whether it’s feeding issues, fevers or setting limits, I know my mom will have the right answer. I call my mother-in-law for advice because I think she raised a pretty good son so she must have a clue about what being a good mom involves.
There’s my sister who, with a two year old, I call to remember how frustrating that age can be yet how much I miss it.
I have a few friends who, with young children like me, totally understand when I need to vent or wonder if this or that trying phase will EVER pass!
There’s the neighbors I know I can call at the 11th hour and ask to pick up my kids from school or watch them for an hour or two in a bind.
There’s the friends I meet up with for playdates and gabbing.
There’s the teachers I entrust my girls to each and every day and who, because of their obvious love and care for my children, become like 2nd moms to them for 6 hours a day.
There’s the people from church who have a genuine interest in my girls being raised in the faith and knowing what they believe.
There’s the grandparents who give me insight into what really matters and give perspective on being a good mom in spite of whatever phase we are currently in.
Another Important Part of Your Village
And there’s one other part of my village…people I know you have in yours but likely don’t think of. These are the moms I likely don’t agree with on parenting tactics but can learn from nonetheless.
I can take their experiences and apply them to my own life and children and try and do it better. Sometimes there is no better teacher than experience, whether it’s mine or theirs!
I take all of these people in this pretend village of mine and lean on them in times of need. Times of hurt, times of frustration, times of desperation! And you know what? They all show up. Just when I need them to. And it’s always just in time.
So I encourage you to start making your village today…we weren’t meant to do this job of Mom alone!
If you have missed any in the series 31 Days & 31 Ways To Be A Better Mom, catch up here:
INTRO TO SERIES:
DAY 1: OUR BEFORE SCHOOL RULE
DAY 2: UNPLUG AND PLUG IN
DAY 3: STEP AWAY FROM YOUR CHILD
DAY 4: EMBRACE YOUR CRAZY
DAY 5: BE A REBEL
DAY 6: DO AS I SAY
DAY 7: FIND YOUR VILLAGE
DAY 8: DIVIDE & CONQUER
DAY 9: ONE SMART COOKIE
DAY 11: STOP COMPARING YOUR CHILD
DAY 12: TAKE CARE OF #1
DAY 13: DATE YOUR CHILD
DAY 17: PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES
DAY 18: QUIT BEATING YOURSELF UP
DAY 22: FAMILY DINNER SHMINNER
DAY 23: REBELLION IS A CRAZY THING
DAY 24: TELL THEM IT WILL GET BETTER
DAY 26: IT’S OKAY TO WISH TODAY WAS OVER
DAY 27: BE A GOOD DAUGHTER
DAY 28: QUIT TRYING TO BE THAT OTHER MOM
DAY 29: YOU CAN’T BUY THEIR HAPPINESS
DAY 30: TELL YOUR KIDS YOU ARE A FAILURE
DAY 31: LEARNING TO LET GO